Soft Skills Are the Hardest Part: Rethinking Manager Capability in 2025

At this year’s CIPD Festival of Work, I sat in on a powerful session exploring how we build real, meaningful manager capability in today's complex workplace. The panel included voices from across industry - Andy Ayim MBE, Shane Ashby-Roche from The White Company, and Claire Angliss from Rolls Royce SWR - all reflecting on the evolving nature of leadership.

When we talk about what makes a great manager, we often default to skills that are easy to measure: performance management, planning, productivity. But the panellists all agreed: those aren’t the skills that teams remember.

As Andy Ayim MBE, Human-Centred Leadership expert, reminded us, a Gallup survey of over 70,000 people showed the top things people want from their managers are: hope, trust, compassion, and stability. These aren’t "soft skills." They’re human skills. And they’re the hardest to get right.

Claire Angliss, Head of Organisational Development and Capability at Rolls Royce SWR, put it even more directly: "These are tough skills. They’re not soft." Especially in technical and high-performance environments, the ability to lead people - not just projects - isn’t a fluffy add-on. It’s a technical discipline in its own right. It requires humility, self-awareness, and a different kind of credibility.

So why do we still treat people-leadership like an afterthought?

Many managers today are burning the candle at both ends. They’re not only delivering KPIs, they’re navigating hybrid working, organisational change, AI integration, and shifting expectations from a multi-generational workforce. And in the midst of all that, they’re expected to be emotionally intelligent, compassionate, and present.

The problem isn’t that managers don’t want to lead with more care. It’s that they don't necessarily have all the the tools, space or permission to learn how.

What came through powerfully at the Festival was the need to redefine what "capability" looks like. Leadership isn’t just about knowing the answers. It’s about asking the right questions: What do you need from me? How can I help you succeed?  Creating that kind of psychological safety takes effort and intention. But it’s also what helps people perform at their best.

The language we use matters too. When we call compassion a "soft skill," we devalue it. When we frame kindness as a performance risk, we misunderstand it. As Claire said: "Kindness is clarity".

If we want our organisations to be resilient, then we have to treat emotional literacy and relational leadership as non-negotiable competencies. Not just for HR, but for everyone who leads.

Because the hardest skills to teach are the ones that matter most. Read more: If this resonates, you might enjoy the next article in this series: Burnout Culture or Bravery Culture? Rethinking Our Obsession with Always Being On

It explores how our workplace habits - like constantly being ‘on’ - aren’t just individual choices but cultural signals, and how rethinking rest and responsibility can shift collective wellbeing.

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Elizian Days works with organisations who understand that sustainable performance starts with emotional wellbeing. We support teams and managers to develop the inner capacity to lead with clarity, presence and resilience.

This isn't about ticking the wellbeing box. It's about resourcing your people to lead with strength and softness in equal measure. Because how your leaders feel directly affects how they lead.